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Things I’ll later find/lose

I’ll go ahead and thank the fantastic Lily and Madeleine for the title of this blog post. I love them, go ahead and check them out.

I think sometimes I hold too tightly onto some things. I’m like a child that won’t not carry around her one special blanket with her everywhere. I was that child, actually. But even today, I find myself holding on, and holding on. Honestly, I’m not even sure to what. To the feeling of innocence? Love? Happiness? I think those are all worthy things to keep in a pocket of your heart, tucked away or bursting the seams.

I’m scared that I’ll lose these things though. I still read, from time to time, my fifth grade writer’s journal to reminisce over the times when I was just a silly kid, who didn’t know what she was doing (kinda still am). Eventually, it’s going to go away though, and maybe the sentiment will disappear with it. All I can hope is either: A. That won’t happen or B. I’ll find something when I lose another.

People say that, as a door closes, another one opens. I guess that’s I good way to think about things, but all I really want are open doors all around me. Maybe I’ll get a little bit lost in the opportunities or the memories, but aren’t those all good things? I’d rather that happen than look back at a unmoving, shut, door of lost opportunity.

We all lose some pennies–that’s all fine. I just don’t want to lose whatever the metaphorical coin for my heart is.

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