little blurbs

pools

“Here we are.”

I gasped for a bit of breath as I took my final stride up the hill. It wasn’t really one of exasperation, just unatheleticness (I remember the last time I ran a mile– it was freshman year gym and the only bad grade that tainted my line of As).

“Are you okay?”

We made eye contact for the first time in 30 minutes. My eyes had been set on the dirt that moved beneath my feet, or the dirt that I moved over, whichever it was. Now i faced pools of blue, against more of the same.

“You haven’t said anything this whole time.”

I didn’t move. My face made no adjustments. I stood and I drowned.

“Okay, then.”

We broke our shared gaze. I jumped out of the pools and found myself gasping for air again.

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quagmires

today and those that follow

I am obsessed

with the details of today.

I thought it over and I’m thinking it over and I believe I understand

the implications of my actions and the thought behind yours.

I love being the love

the care of your day on a series of days when you desperately need it,

but especially on days when it’s just the frosting

on something that is already okay.

I can do that, I think.

I can be there, I believe.

I will be better than what you expect of me.

Not exactly what you want me to be

but beyond anything that was so clearly

a perfect match.

to smile when you see me–

that is enough

to be dangerously what I lust

for.

A one way love,

or a two way dependency that continues down

becoming a small, stealthy,

pathway to being distraught

that we so failed to recognize because

we were wandering and did not ask to end up on this path.

I just thought that waking up this morning

and having my love lie in my arms,

kissing your cheek indefinitely,

meant no direction was needed:

if everything was inevitable

if it all led to this.

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